I opened up the Cashiers du Cinemart guestbook—a constant source of amusement—back in July 2001 to find the following entry:
Name: Nick Zedd
Email: nickzedd2000@aol.com
http:// www.nickzedd.com
Comments: You lack the intellectual ammuntion (sic) to realize how brilliant Q.T. is. He fills the vacuum of your existence.
Come to my site and buy my trinkets. We have a sale on his used underwear
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Then, after a mass e-mail, I had the pleasure of further interaction with Mr. Zedd.
Date: Sat, 16 Feb 2002 14:54:47-0500 (EST)
From: NICKZEDD2000@aol.com
To: cashiersducinemart-owner@yahoogroups.com
I do believe it’s high time you gave some coverage to my latest batch of movies, including Lord of the Cock Rings, Elf Panties: The Movie, Thus Spake Zarathustra and Rubric’s recently released DVD, Abnormal: The Sinema of Nick Zedd, in stores nationwide.
Nick Zedd
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Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2002 14:12:30-0500 (EST)
From: mwhite@impossiblefunky.com
To: NICKZEDD2000@aol.com
Nick,
Thanx for your interest in Cashiers du Cinemart. At this time I think I’ll take a pass at reviewing your flicks. I’ve seen several of your works but have yet to find one that appeals to my sensibilities. Too often I find them... how can I say... “treading water in a sea of retarded poetry”?
Actually, I saw some hope in the last flick I saw your name on, Lord of the Cock Rings. While the parody aspects were thin and rather juvenile, it seems like you may be getting away from the “boobies are cool” school of “transgressive cinema.” If not, the sets were nice looking at least.
Best of luck in your future endeavors. Hopefully you’ll be able to find proper coverage in bigger and better cinema magazines than CdC.
Yr Pal,
Mike White
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Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2002 15:56:25-0500 (EST)
From: NICKZEDD2000@aol.com
To: mwhite@impossiblefunky.com
I’m sure I will since your zine is a piece of mediocre shit and you obviously have your head up your ass.
NZ
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Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2002 16:12:30-0500 (EST)
From: mwhite@impossiblefunky.com
To: NICKZEDD2000@aol.com
Nick,
Okey doke. If you really feel that way about the zine then you probably wouldn’t want to have a feature about your work in a mediocre piece of shit anyway.
Struggling for air,
Mike White
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Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2002 17:04:40-0500 (EST)
From: NICKZEDD2000@aol.com
To: mwhite@impossiblefunky.com
Oh any publicity is welcome. I’m not elitist about it. The sole function creatures like you perform is connecting point A to point B. Kind of like Hotmail.
If you’re on the blink someone else will perform your job somewhere else.
You’re essentially irrelevant.
NZ
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Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2002 17:34:40-0500 (EST)
From: mwhite@impossiblefunky.com
To: NICKZEDD2000@aol.com
>>You’re essentially irrelevant.<<
I couldn’t agree more.
Good luck!
Mike White
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I sent the above to Chris Gore on the advice of my pal, Skizz. I had to send them with an “anonymous” email account since he has filters in place to block anything from “impossiblefunky.com” and “cashiersducinemart.com”. I sent it along with a header of “Skizz says you’d enjoy this.” Here’s his response:
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How did you get this? Funny as hell. God, both of those guys are full of shit. Funny!
Later,
CG
FILM THREAT (www.filmthreat.com)
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